There's so many different worlds

So many different suns

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Fic: Going to ground
Title: Going to ground
Pairing: Cougar/Jensen
Rating: R
Summary:“I mean it! You look like you want to beat someone to death with an ice cream cone. "
Disclaimer: Not mine, borrowed!
Warnings: Violence, strong language & disturbing imagery.
Notes: Follows His, Now I lay me down to sleep, Useful, Better dead and Not even close

When it came time for leave again, Cougar didn’t quite know what to do.

There was no fucking way he was going anywhere without Jensen – or vice versa – but whether they went to Mexico or fucking St Helena was pretty much open to debate.

He wanted to ask Jensen, but had no fucking clue how to go about it.

Roque saved him the dilemma. Cougar was still pissed at him – fucking furious, actually – but he didn’t seem to care.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, this is painful!” He said, handing Jensen one of his bags from the hold. “Cougar, Jensen is going to New Hampshire, and you’re going with him. Jesus Christ.”

“I am?” Jensen blinked stupidly. “He is?”

Pooch fucking giggled. Giggled.

“You are.” Roque said, proudly wearing his Grumpy Bastard Crown once again. “Now fuck off and go eat hotdogs or something.”

Pooch’s giggles became full belly laughs. Even Clay snorted.

“Oh Roque.” Jensen said consolingly. “You are so adorably naïve sometimes.” He patted Roque’s arm. Before, Roque would have put him in a headlock. Instead he growled and bumped Jensen away with his shoulder.

“Hotdogs.” Pooch carried on giggling like a six year old girl. They’d have to re-evaluate Jensen’s status as the kid in the unit.

“Gee Pooch, keep this up and you’ll soon graduate onto poop jokes.” Jensen snarked.

Cougar had a feeling he’d missed something important.

They took turns driving and sleeping.

When Jensen drove, he played the most obnoxiously cheerful music going.

When Cougar drove, he spent half the time trying to find a decent station.

New Hampshire was a perfect white picket fence town. Leafy suburbs, perfectly mown lawns; sprinklers and ice cream venders and kids on bikes with sparkly pink handle bars.

Cougar had never felt so out of place in his whole fucking life.

“You could try look less suspicious, you know.” Jensen told him. He was wearing a yellow t-shirt, complete with dancing bottles of tequila and wedges of lime. Suspicious, perhaps not… absofuckinglutely ridiculous, hell yes.

Cougar glared at him.

“I mean it! You look like you want to beat someone to death with an ice cream cone. Um…Cougs…wait a second! That wasn’t permission!”

Cougar took a detour to the first vendor he saw, bought Jensen the biggest ice cream and shoved it in his face.

“You’re quieter when you’re eating.” Cougar justified. It was a load of bullshit. Jensen could talk twenty-four seven for all Cougar cared. He had over a month of silence to block out of his head.

“You’re just a pervert.” Jensen beamed, lapping at the ice cream and making the most indecent sounds imaginable. “Oh god…hot fudge. No, seriously, I think you’ve been spending too long around Roque. He’s a pervert. Clay as well. Come to think of it, Pooch is the only normal guy on the team. We should do something about that.”

Jensen rattled on about how they could pervert Pooch without incurring the wrath of Jolene, and it was easy to forget that anything had happened to them at all.

Jensen was entirely too good at fooling people.

Jensen had a niece.

A tiny, blond haired, blue eyed, giggling niece.

Fucker had failed to mention that.

She was four. Just old enough to remember her uncle, and mature enough to know she had missed him.

“Uncle Jake!”

She was a messy pigtails and polka-dot twin set of a blur as she threw herself off her swing set and into Jensen’s arms. Cougar had never heard someone giggle so hard or so happily before in his life.

And he’d never seen Jensen smile that that before, either.

Jillian, or Jilly-Bean, as Jensen was want to call her, was clearly the light of his fucking life. He picked her up and spun her around and looked like he belonged in the perfect fucking suburb.

She was shy when he introduced her to Cougar, hiding behind his leg and peeking her bambi eyes from around his shorts.

It lasted about five minutes.

Then it was Mr Cougar this, and Mr Cougar that.

Fuck knew where the kid got her manners: sure as hell wasn’t her uncle.

Jillian lived with her guardians: an grey haired couple who looked like they could hardly keep up with her. The woman, Judith, covered Jensen in kisses and didn’t stop shy of hugging Cougar and hustling him into the house.

“She looks like a sweet old lady.” Jensen said in a conspiratorial whisper. “But she practically runs the whole town.”

“And has sharper hearing than her son likes to think.” She shouted back as her husband shook Cougar’s hand.

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Adopted.” He filled in when Cougar frowned at him – Judith and her husband Samuel looked nothing like Jensen. “They took me and my sister in.”

Cougar waited to be introduced to this sister, a woman Jensen had never even mentioned.

They had lunch on the back porch, watching Jillian run around with Mungo and Jerry, the two beagle puppies who lived next door.

Sweet iced tea, neatly cut sandwiches and mountains of succulent strawberries.

Cougar hadn’t eaten food so good in years.

“Are you an analyst like Jake?” Samuel asked. Both he and Judith seemed excited at the chance to talk to one of Jensen’s friends.

Jensen’s face twisted into a badly disguised smile. Cougar didn’t even have email.

“Reconnaissance.” Cougar said instead. Jensen wasn’t about to tell them what he really did for a living, and neither was Cougar.

They took Jillian to the park and Jensen twitched every time a kid went near her.

“They yours?” Cougar broke off from watching Jensen pushing Jillian on the swing. A small, curly haired woman took a seat on the bench beside him. She looked a little like Jolene, and he wondered how Pooch was doing. “I think it is wonderful that all couples can adopt these days. Kids should have loving parents.”

Cougar stared at her, then looked over at Jensen and his neice. “Wait…no no! He’s my partner. I mean my…” Fuck buddy. Comrade in military assassination. Fellow POW. He coughed painfully. “Best friend.”

Jensen, of course, had to hear the whole thing.

He spent the rest of the day laughing and calling Cougar ‘pardner’. Jillian copied him, and Cougar resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t about to win that one.

Jensen got a photo of him asleep on the couch with Jillian curled up on his chest.

“You ever wanted kids, Cougs?” Jensen asked. They were both squashed into the small guest bedroom. If Judith and Samuel thought it was strange they were sharing a bunk, they didn’t say a thing.

Cougar rolled over to look Jensen in the eye. “Do you think I deserve them?”

Because he didn’t.

You didn’t end as many lives as Cougar had and still get to create your own.

“I think you’d be a pretty awesome dad.”

It was too dark for Jensen to see him blush, thank fuck.

“Where are her parents?”

It wasn’t dark enough to mask the look on Jensen’s face.

”Me llamo Jillian. ¿Cómo te llamas?”

Cougar and Jillian sat cross legged on the kitchen floor. Judith and Sam had done out to a town meeting, leaving Jensen in charge.

Jillian had batted her eyelashes and won them all hot chocolate at ten am.

“You better not be teaching her anything rude.” Jensen said, balancing milk cartoons and chocolate syrup on the counter.

“You remember what we practiced?” Cougar asked the little girl. She nodded and beamed at him, as eager to please as her uncle.

Jensen glared down at Cougar from the other side of the kitchen. “I mean it. I don’t care how badass you are, Cougs. You teach my niece naughty words and I’ll hang you from the jungle gym by your cojones.”

Cougar ignored the threat and winked at Jillian.

She pushed herself up onto her feet and wobbled a little before gaining her balance.

Jensen gave an exaggerated ‘umph’ as she collided with his calves and clung on tight. “Te amo, Uncle Jake.”

Because it was okay for a four year old to tell her uncle she loved him.

Even if the words were Cougar's.

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okay, see now this is happier! Adorable little girls and giggly Pooch!


Beautiful story- some good moments for our boys after all this awful things that had happened to them.

Awww, I'm melting.
Some quiet times for the boys. Finally! :D
Mooooore please!

Awww, poor Cougar! So out of place. Glad to see them returning to a bit of normalcy, tho.

This is really an awesome job with this story, but I'm sure I sound like a broken record at this point.


Darn onions. *sniffle*

Loved the dark edge to this, despite the happy (mostly) feel to this one. It's just wonderful the things Jensen doesn't say, and the way Cougar doesn't dwell on what's not said--though it does make one wonder about the things he doesn't say. Also loved how Cougar got Jillian to tell Jensen I Love You. Again, could write a novella about all the wonderful in this entire series, let alone this chapter of it.



Jensen gave an exaggerated ‘umph’ as she collided with his calves and clung on tight. “Te amo, Uncle Jake.”
Because it was okay for a four year old to tell her uncle she loved him.
Even if the words were Cougar's.

*clutches heart* I think you killed me with that one.

Aw! So much love for this!

A little time with a kiddo can be so healing!

Awwws! *dead from cuteness*

Awwww!!! Super adorable!! :D

if Cougar and Jensen adopted a kid it would be the most badass little baby ever

:D!!! Coupling this with the hilarious soccer scene at the end of the movie just makes me love Jensen so much more. And Cougar is so freaking awesome in this.

*is dead* Oh man, those last two lines like, made all the bad worth it just to get to here.

Also... I am laughing. Recently wrote a Jensen fic where I named his sister Jillian and her screen name was JillyBean.

*sobs a little*

You are *killing me*.

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